DRW Tape it or Die/Blog Posts

The Tape it or Die bloggers have been posting blog posts since April of 2010 through August 2010, posting information about upcoming events, among other topics, to their trip in Fortune City when the outbreak hit.

The blog posts are categorized by month and then listed in from oldest to newest.

Tape it or Die = Open Now!
Written by Johnny Pipes on April 6, 2010

Image courtesy of the fine folks at the Kentucky Bison Company!

Hey folks! Welcome to Tape It Or Die! After weeks of planning, we are officially open! Hot damn! I'm sure many of you reading this were followers of the late Shambling Meat Bag forums. Still don't know what happened there. Jorge just fell off the face of the Earth. But we have our top men man working to see if we can't fish out some of those epic threads. But enough about dead websites! Long live Tape It Or Die, where we discuss all things zombie, and all things tape. My name's Johnny Pipes (yes, the Johnny Pipes). I'll be hosting this party. And making the occasional Red Bull run. (And as a side note, if you're in the Costa Mesa area, be sure to use Johnny Pipes Plumbing for all your plumbing and handyman needs!) But this is a team effort! I can't do this kind of thing alone. So, we have some other SMB veterans here picking up my slack. So, the four of us are going to be writing about - what else - zombies. But we're not stopping there! This is where we think beyond the shotgun. With a good roll of tape in your hand, the world is your oyster. More on this later. So, enough introduction! I'm cracking open a Red Bull. Let's get this party started!
 * Left Hand Lance: Zombie expert and webmaster extraordinaire. If you have issues with the site, contact HIM, not ME! Hahaha!
 * Gretchen: Our angel investor. She's fronting our hosting bills. <3 Also, she's my main squeeze! <3<3<3
 * Wallace: ...........You know, we love Wallace. Very much!

THE MIGHTY LEFT HAND OF LHL
Written by "Left Hand" Lance on April 8, 2010

Since this is my first post, it seems like i should introduce myself, but that seems a little weird because it seems like everyone already knows me already. but whatev. I'm Left Hand Lance; you can call me LHL or Lefty for short. i'll be posting and commenting here and doing all that stuff I was doing on the Shambling Meat Bag, except that now instead of just moderating forums, I'm actually in charge. All hail my mighty left hand! LOL!

oh, and I shouldn't have to mention this, since all the people here are on my good list, but since I'm webmaster here, I will be more ruthless than I ever was as a SMB mod. If you get out of line, or rile me up, i will ban you so hard, you won’t be able to see straight. Just sayin'.

My Intro and Zombie Bikes
Written by Wallace on April 10, 2010

Hi everybody. This is my first official post here, so I should probably introduce myself. My name is Wallace, and I'll be yet another of your guides here on the path that is Tape it or Die. If you were on the Shambling Meat Bag, you may remember that I was the leader of the "Bigger in Texas" group (and if you were a member of the group, it's not too late to have a barbecue this weekend. Just call me to set up a time.

Also if you knew me from the SMB, you'd know that I like motorcycles. They're both a livelihood and a pastime. Building and repairing them has given me years of enjoyable work and a steady income. (And while I won't blatantly advertise like some folks (named Johnny Pipes), I can help out if you ever need a repair shop in the San Antonio area.)

But if I talked about bikes in a non-zombie way, I'd...well, let's just say my popularity would drop. Like my father sometimes said, "Never bring a cross to a pagan party" (or something like that). But still, there's plenty of bleeding between these two areas. Today, for example, I want to look at what happens when zombies and motorcycles love each other very much. namely, you get an awesomely unholy hybrid between the two. Like this!

Yes, yes, I realize that this is not technically a zombie bike, but rather a skeleton bike.

But still, if you have a reanimated skeleton, that can still count as the living dead, right? Okay, I get it, we need some skin, even if it is rotting. So how about this? Gruesome!

How Long Would it Take You to Convert
Written by Gretchen on April 11,2010



I found an interesting quiz whilst browsing the Internet. It's called the Zombie Bite Calculator, and like its name implies, its purpose is to figure out how long it would take you to convert after being bitten by a zombie. I would be interested to know what the base conversion time is. I can only assume that it is one hour, which some people have hypothesized is the conversion time for the "completely average person" (if such a thing exists). Regardless, the relevant aspects which effect the conversion time include:

Age: Basic. 22 years is considered the ideal age of health for the average person, with desirability decreasing as the age range radiates.

Propensity for catching common sicknesses (e.g. colds), and speed of recovery: Indicators of one's immunity level. While the human immune system can't defeat the zombie infection completely, it can't hurt to have a stronger system.

Exercise amount and level of obesity: If you can't figure these out, I doubt you pass middle school biology.

Smoking habits and asthma: In addition to being indicative of general health, both of these prevent oxygen (a vital healing factor) from entering the system.

Ease of bruising and use of blood thinners: I find this to be both fascinating and relevant. Because of the unique, fast-acting nature of zombie infection, travel through blood is very important. A higher degree of what the layman will term "brusieability" means that the veins are easily broken, propagating the spread of blood and, thus, the infection.

Similar with blood thinners Cholesterol Level: I'd be curious to see how this effects the time. On the one hand, high cholesterol means lower overall health. However, because cholesterol is essentially a waxy buildup within the veins, it would actually slow the spread of the infection. It'd be an interesting research item.

Weight: Unlike obesity level, having a greater weight can actually be an asset, as you have more blood that needs to be infected before you turn. This works similarly to blood alcohol levels and being considered a "lightweight."

Anemia: An anemic person has an abnormally low number of red blood cells. Theoretically, I suppose this would work in a manner inverse to the high weight.

Diabetes: Diabetes has several symptoms, including fatigue, weight loss, and slow wound healing, that would all either contribute to the acquisition or spread of the infection.

Truth be told, I'm disappointed with this result. I am in tip-top physical condition, the only things I consume are beneficial, and I know more about health than anyone I know. What I can assume works against me is my age being sub-optimal and my weight being on the lower end. However, I'd still wager that I'd last longer than anyone else here. Please post your (honest) results in the comments, so we can compare. Lets Talk About Tape Written by Johnny Pipes on April 20, 2010

Hey folks! Johnny Pipes here! Well, as you may know, I'm a plumber (best in the Costa Mesa area (949-478-3949). Also a overall handyman and a tinkerer and an inventor. I use a lot of tape. A lot. And I make sure I have tape on me at all times. And not just at work. I have it at home and at parties and on dates.

I mean, what if some mugger slashed a hole in your lady-friend's purse? Tape it up! What if a kid is being too loud in a restaurant? Tape his mouth shut! (Didn't do that one myself; I just gave the mother a strip of tape. Not sure if she used it, but I didn't hear the kid after that.)

Basically, if there's a problem that's not un-solvable, usually one of the solutions involves tape. So, my logic goes: Of course there are the basics: But my favorite thing about tape is that it's not just repairative! It's also combinative! If you have two solid, tangible objects, they can be totally taped together! And that includes weapons. If you have two guns and tape them together, you get a doublegun! Tape two swords together, and you get a doublesword! Et cetera! Now, I have lots to say on this. After all, I've been doing this kind of junk all my life. So watch out, zombies! Tape is coming for you!
 * Zombies are a problem.
 * The problem of zombies is not un-solvable.
 * Therefore, tape must be a solution!
 * Tape based traps (large pit covered by weak tape).
 * Putting double-sided tape on the ground to slow them even more.
 * Throwing rolls of tape at the zombies.

Da Top 4 Zombie Movies of 2000s!!
Written by "Left Hand" Lance on April 23, 2010

There has been a lot of zombie films come out in the last 10 years. i guess you could say that the 2000s have been something of a renaissance for zombie films. there have been almost as many zombie movies released in the last 10 years as there have been in all the years before 2000. But just because there's a lot of movies, that doesnt mean there's any good movies. Seriously, there has also been a lot of crap. and not the "so bad it's good" kind, either. So, I wanted to make a top 5 zombie movies of all time, but I figured I should separate it into portions. So today, i'm going to be discussing my top 5 zombie movies of the 2000s (not including 2010).

4. 28 Days Later - I admit I'm a little hesitant about adding this one. After all, this was the movie that popularized the "fast zombie" archetype. And while i'm not necessarily the most critical person when it comes to fast zombies, I do feel that they take something away from the genre as a whole. Thaat said, I can't simply ignore the fact that this movie is...good. it's genuinely scary and has a pretty decent plot. So if you want to have zombie movies being taken seriously by the masses of norms, this is a good step in that direction...even if it is a very fast step.



3. Resident Evil - Okay, so this one may not be considered as culturally relevant, or even as good, as 28 days Later. And the sequels were...let's not talk about Apocalypse, the better. But it has it's own pluses. First of all, it's based on my favorite video game series of all time. well, loosely based, but based nonetheless. Whenever I hear the phrase "T-Virus", I get chills. But still, the number one reason to see this movie. Milla. Milla. Oh god, Milla Milla Milla.



2. Shaun of the Dead - I give the british a lot of crap about a lot of things (bad food, bad weather, their obsession with that "Benny Hill" chase music), but man, this movie is great. Simon Pegg himself is a genius (and if you've seen him as Scotty in the Star Trek reboot, you know that his timing is perfect), and the general mix of gore and just goofiness works so well.



1. Zombie Strippers - Okay, this is one of the ones i've never actually seen, but the concept is better than anything else you can imagine. think about it. zombies. strippers. zombie strippers. (And Jenna jameson.) It almost sells itself!

Zombrex - A Little too late
Written by Gretchen on April 25, 2010 It seems like every so often, there is a new malady that scares the world. In 2004, the "Disease du Jour" was the severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS). In 2007, it was the H5N1 highly pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI, or "bird flu"). In 2009, it was the Influenza A H1N1 virus (which everyone lovingly dubbed "swine flu").

Zombies are different. First of all, we don't have any commonly-accepted nomenclature regarding the infection. It's just "zombie-ism". Perhaps it speaks to us on a more basic level, and so words fail us. Second, it seems like regardless of what nation you are in, you actually are at risk (and not just because the media says you are). And even though most instances of the outbreak have been contained, it is still important to know the symptoms. The earlier you know, the more likely you'll be able to treat the issue before fully converting.

I think the best place to start is with a box of Zombrex (tangentially, owning your own pharmacy is a wonderful way to ensure that you always are stocked with Zombrex in case the worst happens). Here are the symptoms of zombification according to the box: ((See Image))

The only issues I take with these symptoms (and rest assured, I have contacted Phenotrans to tell them about this) is that these are symptoms which occur close to, during, or after conversion. Stated otherwise, it may be too late. So in the interest of your health, here are some symptoms to watch out for just after being bitten.

1. Rapid coagulation and congealment of blood.

2. Lightheadedness and lethargy.

3. Irritability.

4. Profuse sweating and dehydration.

While any of these in isolation could be indicitive of any number of health issues, the four of them together could seriously be evidence that you are beginning to turn. If that occurs, be sure to visit your local pharmacy, hospital, or other medical practitioner for treatment. You'll be doing your part to help prevent the spread of the zombie outbreak.

Zip Zop Zobity Bop!
Written by "Left Hand" Lance on April 29, 2010 L4d's smoker + Bill Cosby = hilarity ahem...

click here for lulz

I don't know why Valve didn't just do this to begin with. but ya see, the kids these days listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage with their hippin' and their hoppin and their bippin and their boppin', so they don't know what the jazz is all about!